The Price of Anti-Social Media

It's time for some beautiful replacements.

“We should restore the practice of dueling. It might improve manners around here.”

- Edward Abbey

That line by Abbey often comes to mind when perusing the Internet. A key feature of social media is the lack of physical presence. The “dueling” is often anonymous and always long-distance and so it is not dueling at all.

Put those combatants together in the same room and you’d find a serious increase in courtesy.

Since social media does not require presence or risk, it has been a gift to the cowards of the world while, at the same time, eroding communication in general.

Even those of us who do not bully or bellow can be diminished.

Once upon a time, social skills were acquired and honed during front porch conversations with neighbors, Little League games, bowling tournaments, poker or bridge nights, board games, and club meetings.

Those weren’t just meetings and events. They were training sessions in the soft skills that often are missing in the modern workplace. In those old-fashioned exchanges, we learned how to read one another, how to listen and tell jokes and stories along with how to deliver or receive sensitive news. Those are skills that require practice, often involving more than a few fumbles, and are rarely completely mastered.

We should not underestimate their importance, nor should we fail to appreciate their value. Go through your old files and you’ll probably find some hand-written thank-you notes.

The manners themselves represented important social obligations, but the very human aspect, the time-consuming and very personal handwriting twirls and loops were the most valuable and meaningful part of all.

It’s time for us to go back to the genuine, the unrushed, the inconvenient but beautiful forms of communication.

They might improve manners around here.